I have absolutely no qualms about the internet. I am positively glad that I was born in the age of the internet. I have been exposed to so many things that I would not have been if I had not had the internet. I probably spend more time on the computer than I do going outside. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. During the pandemic time I wasn’t glad that people were getting sick and potentially dying, but I was glad that I could do all my schooling from my laptop. It was just natural to me. I like the freedom I’m allowed on this computer and on the internet, way more than I’m allowed in ‘reality’. I don’t really care if people look down on such behavior, it’s what I want to do. I’ve always been a bit of an outcast. Yet, I’m fine with it. I’m fine playing the role of an outsider. It isn’t really something that is embarrassing to me. I didn’t want to be like the kids in high school I saw around me. That just never crossed my mind. Probably as a result of that, things ended up like this. Though I have no regrets with what I did with all that free time I had. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without those experiences. If I could I’d return.
To go through the questions, yes, probably. It was probably largely the internet’s fault. The internet probably made me more disconnected with everyday things around me – without a doubt. I’m infinitely more informed a person than I would be without the internet. That isn’t even a question. Whether more in charge or more overwhelmed, I’d say neutral. I mean theoretically if I spent more time offline I probably could’ve accumulated more ‘power’ offline, but I don’t think it really would’ve been worth the trade off. On empowered (though I hate that word) or helpless, I’d say I can do more things because I had the instruction of the internet. Again, not even a question. Often times, if I said what I really thought, I’d probably get cursed or banned or thrown out or punched or whatever. So, probably more developed a personality of keeping things to myself most of the time thanks to the internet. I’d say definitely more confident. If I’d just followed California’s default moral system and suggestions I think I’d be a much more miserable, miserable person. (Not in like miserable to people around me, I’d just feel miserable.)
This song is quite vulgar. That guys screams quirky leftist to me. Though I got to say, two parts did stick out to me. First, was the part about, “Don’t act surprise. You know you like it, you whore.” I think this is quite true. With women you can truly never win. They’ll complain about anything. When they get attention they’ll complain about all the attention. Yet when they’re no longer given the attention they’ll start feeling lonely. You give her too much attention she complains about obsessiveness, you don’t then she starts to complain about detachment. Women never speak honestly about anything. It’s like the ritual in Japan where if you’re receiving a gift it’s considered good manners to at least reject it once, except when you say no you don’t actually mean no, the person giving the gift is then expected to insist the person take it. If you speak too honestly then they’ll start to recoil. Or they can’t decide when they’re called pretty should they accept it as a compliment or take it as sexual harassment. Probably with one guy it’s something to be welcomed, with the other it becomes harassment. I saw in a book once, “That’s just how girls are. You seeing them is embarrassing for them, but they still want you to see. They want to hear you say they look attractive, even if it makes them blush like crazy.” Oh, I found the screenshot.
“I’m glad the target of bullying (or teasing, like light bullying among friends) has moved away from me, but”
“this lonely feeling…”
Then another example of this is women will complain about masculine traits until they have a use for them. Then all of a sudden they’ll flip-flop and start acting more feminine. Honestly, I think men are just idiots for putting up with that one in particular. In a way this behavior is kind of charming, but I also find it highly infuriating. Think best combination is female appearance male brain. You wouldn’t have to play all the mind games. Where were girls even trained to act like this anyway? I say that, but I got some predictions. The other was the clover in the music video around “different”. 4Chan is often forgotten. Well, first rule about it is don’t talk about it. Yet, I like to think that we’re just inheriting the world that was given to us. World wasn’t a kind or orderly place before we got here. This is a world of conflict. If you’re not prepared for it then you’ll lose. We didn’t chose that. Weren’t given much of a say in the matter. I say ‘we’, but there really is no ‘we’. About the only thing 4chan users seem to agree on is that they should have the right to hurl insults at the other.
I can’t even begin to enumerate all the things that have shaped and changed me as a person thanks to computers. For one, I wouldn’t have my own website. Wouldn’t rent my own server. Last summer, I probably wouldn’t have found myself in Nagoya studying Japanese for 7 weeks. I’d never have learned the rules of Shogi. I’d have never opened a Bible. I’d never have had any exposure to philosophy. Probably wouldn’t have read half the books I have. I wouldn’t be nearly as right-wing as I am. I’d never have been exposed to visual novels. I wouldn’t have been able to take College classes in high school. I wouldn’t have been able to watch all those old American, German, Chinese, and Japanese movies that I have seen. I’d never have been exposed to anime. All my favorites, wouldn’t have played Kichikuou Rance, wouldn’t have seen Hyouka or Legend of the Galactic Hero, would never have seen Madadayo or Whisper of the Heart. Wouldn’t be listening to Augustine as I exercise. Wouldn’t be running Debian on this computer. Wouldn’t have any kind of nuanced opinion on foreign affairs. Wouldn’t have met the characters of Kamakura Shio or Kitamikado Ritsuko. And I could continue this list. Everything here are experiences that I value and wouldn’t willingly part with. No, I’m glad for the existence of the internet. Plus, I was never cut out for the hero role either.