So I was rejected from Nagoya, Ritsumeikan, and ICU. The last one is Sophia but I’m not going to be waiting in baited breath for that one. Think the odds of that one working out aren’t all that great. I’m not so frustrated with getting rejected it’s more not being able to get the time and money back. But I still have the opportunity to go to a UC school and finish my degree in a couple years. I think the real question now becomes now though how much should I do with Japan. Should I continue with Japanese and push forward with that N1. I think it’ll become mostly a hobby. When I have the occasional untranslated eroge I want to play I guess I’ll use Japanese. But other than that I might find myself not using it very much. I used to think I’d replace my English with Japanese when reading but I’m starting to realize just how much work that is and how much longer it’d take. I’ll also have the opportunity for a study abroad. I don’t know whether I should take up the opportunity to go to Japan or not. I mean realistically a study abroad feels like playing around and useless if you don’t set up something keeper in the country.
I think what I might do is just leave Japan alone. Which is a bit unfortunate, but I guess that’s the way fate is taking me. I want to try doing a TEFL internship somewhere during the summer. I’m almost done with my degree. And I think what I’m going to aim at is completing my history degree, getting the teaching certificate, getting a couple years of experience here (preferably living in a large urban center), and then apply to private international schools. Hopefully some school that’d provide me with an apartment and health care. Think I’m going to aim at trying to save $1000 a month. Saving some of that and investing the rest. Since I’m probably going to be jumping around a lot it’d minimize my ability to really settle down in one place and have a family. If I go off to the Middle East or China the way those contracts work is that they’re renewed every year and you’re kicked out of the country as soon as you’re no longer useful to them. But I guess even if I wanted to stay I couldn’t because I’d need to find work. I think it could be a satisfying and very doable life. I tried opening the possibility for a different ending but it didn’t work out. Too bad I guess. But maybe this way fits my personality better.
If I’m going to be doing history though I want to get more serious about my history degree. Think I’ll start reading more history books and watching documentaries over the next couple years. Especially get better at my American history. Think that’s one thing that’s going to come out of this. I would be sticking more to my Western roots. I guess that’s where I came from so almost inevitably that is where I stay.
It’s not like I’ve accomplished nothing this far. But feels like a lot of my effort was in vain. Three things mostly. Studying for the ACT and then it being pointless in the end. Doing all that research for schools and it being pointless. The anticipation and waiting around and it proven to have been useless. The second is my working at Safeway. I wanted to work up through the time I was supposed to leave but I only ended up there a month or two. Ended up waiting around for something that never came. Then the third was just the waiting. Not quite knowing where I was going. But maybe this year gave me a better idea of what I want to do with myself. I learned some cooking, learned some about finance and how to manage money, completed a tefl certificate, got my first experience working, passed the JLPT N2, successfully got into the UC school, and thought of a path for the future.
I think maybe the future I’ll try to get some kind of Linux certificate. I’m not sure I’ll ever use it for a job. But there’s a possibility and it’s skills I already have. It’d also be one more thing to do on in the resume. I think it’d be worth having. I’ll need to seriously think about the study abroad. Should I spend a quarter, semester, or a year. Where should I go. I don’t know. Should I even go.
Guess it’s a bit unfortunate when things don’t work out. But you have to try your best with what you got.
